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Posts tagged boyfriend
Long history of mental health affecting relationship with boyfriend. NEED ADVICE!?
Jan 25th
Question by : Long history of mental health affecting relationship with boyfriend. NEED ADVICE!?
I am debating on whether or not I should end things with my boyfriend. He and I have been dating for a year, and honestly, I really do love him. But from the very beginning, things have started off on the wrong foot for us and they have only gotten worse as time has gone on.
I suffer from Major Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder, and Bi-Polar Disorder. I am a “cutter” and I have had a few suicide attempts in the past. This is a day to day struggle of mine. I have had a very rough childhood, and now as a 22 year old adult, things seem to just be getting even harder.
From day one, my boyfriend knew about all of my “mental health” issues. He claimed that he could deal with them and that he wanted to “be there” for me and help me “get better.” But over the course of the past year, he has honestly only made things worse.
He is an alcoholic. He comes from a very different “family-type” then I do. His family grew up doing drugs and dropping out of high school. While, even though my mom died when I was 14….I still tried to progress positively and maintain the proper course that she would have wanted for my life.
But he flat out told me when I met him that he, along with all 6 of his brothers have never finished high school. And they all have done drugs at some point in their lives. And of course I thought to myself…Is this really the kind of person I want to be dating? But I tried not to judge him and accepted him past for what it was and hoped that he would be willing to make a new life with me.
Well, now…a year later. He and I really are in love. I swear it. But the problem is that I am still so depressed. And I’m sitting back thinking…ok…now what? Neither of us have jobs. (He worked at a fast food restaurant for 9 months…just recently quit) And I cannot find a job to save my life.
So our life together is very boring. And it takes a toll on me a lot quicker then it does him. My mind doesn’t work the same way his does…so when I have to sit at home and cry about the fact that I am a loser and I have a loser boyfriend and all we do is sit around and waste our lives…it doesn’t take me very long to come to the conclusion that I am a piece of sh!t and I should just kill myself.
But I never do it. I usually just force myself to go to sleep for a day or two. And then wake up and repeat the process all over again.
So I guess my question is…
What should I do?
I don’t want to get rid of the boyfriend…I really do love him.
But I feel like he’s taking me no where in life.
Then again…I’m taking myself no where.
HELP.
Best answer:
Answer by Liam
just pull urself together i just think he’s in it for the sex though maybe not
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How to Date this guy I like, never had a boyfriend, advice needed please!?
Dec 23rd
Question by PirateGirl: How to Date this guy I like, never had a boyfriend, advice needed please!?
The guy I really like said I used to be a bastard to girls and now karma is getting me back for it.
He said that 2 years ago, on his online page, I think he’s changed himself though.
He is an alcoholic, and he’s done drugs mainly weed. His ex dumped him & turnt into a lesbian but there still friends. He didn’t have a good childhood, he got bullied about his appearance, his dad would come home stoned and drunk (that’s all I know) and he hates his dad. He gets angry very quick, although it’s not anger its sadness, I can tell by his tone of voice. He gets angry at objects not people as he got angry when he had his PREVIOUS girlfriend he’d leave her and get angry alone so he won’t do it to me, he punches & breaks his stuff not people. He also can joke about sex with me occasionally but he doesn’t like me touching him as he’s very very nervous I think.
He opens the door for me, always helps me even if he himself is busy, he’s concerned if I’m sad. He did and does all this before I told him how I feel. He’s really shy, he finds it hard to look at me in the eyes and when he does I smiled at him and he went bright red like a baboon’s bum. His voice is softer around me, and he puffs his chest out to impress me when I sit next to him. He uncontrollably smiles when I’m around, he is funny, we have same history like same music, etc. He doesn’t care that I have exczma on my face and that I’m chubby, he likes my personality and he was so scared of messing it up with me he’d refrain from saying much as he was so shy, he still is but not as much. I’ve never met anyone so different from most guys.
What do u think & don’t tell me not to date him as I really want to I’d just like some advice please. I’m 18 Hes turning 20 in a few weeks.
Best answer:
Answer by Timothy Dalton
Good luck
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I’m 18 Woman Never had boyfriend, so how do I date this guy I really like?
Dec 18th
Question by PirateGirl: I’m 18 Woman Never had boyfriend, so how do I date this guy I really like?
The guy I really like said I used to be a bastard to girls and now karma is getting me back for it.
He said that 2 years ago, on his online page, I think he’s changed himself though.
He is an alcoholic, and he’s done drugs mainly weed. His ex dumped him & turnt into a lesbian but there still friends. He didn’t have a good childhood, he got bullied about his appearance, his dad would come home stoned and drunk (that’s all I know) and he hates his dad. He gets angry very quick, although it’s not anger its sadness, I can tell by his tone of voice. He gets angry at objects not people as he got angry when he had his PREVIOUS girlfriend he’d leave her and get angry alone so he won’t do it to me, he punches & breaks his stuff not people. He also can joke about sex with me occasionally but he doesn’t like me touching him as he’s very very nervous I think.
He opens the door for me, always helps me even if he himself is busy, he’s concerned if I’m sad. He did and does all this before I told him how I feel. He’s really shy, he finds it hard to look at me in the eyes and when he does I smiled at him and he went bright red like a baboon’s bum. His voice is softer around me, and he puffs his chest out to impress me when I sit next to him. He uncontrollably smiles when I’m around, he is funny, we have same history like same music, etc. He doesn’t care that I have exczma on my face and that I’m chubby, he likes my personality and he was so scared of messing it up with me he’d refrain from saying much as he was so shy, he still is but not as much. I’ve never met anyone so different from most guys.
What do u think & don’t tell me not to date him as I really want to I’d just like some advice please. I’m 18 Hes turning 20 in a few weeks.
Best answer:
Answer by felix
go for it and explore
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How can i help my boyfriend to recover from Alcoholism?
Oct 16th
Question by freshcalmbreeze: How can i help my boyfriend to recover from Alcoholism?
My boyfriend is so deprate to get his life together, but he is so addicted to alcohol and needs any help to stop this addiction.
please give me any suggestions
thank you!!
P.S. AND IS IT TRUE THAT ALCOHOL LEADS A PERSON TO SLEEP WITH ALOT OF GIRLS
Best answer:
Answer by jessiecatsopolous
HE has to get the help, and NO.
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Should I breakup with my boyfriend?
Oct 14th
Question by *~ Nicole ~*: Should I breakup with my boyfriend?
I really need some good advice, I feel like I am making myself sick with worry. Prepare for a story:
I am thinking of breaking up with my boyfriend of 2 years. I love him to death, but he has some pretty significant issues that I feel like are slowing eating me alive. First off, he’s a sloppy 28 year old alcoholic. He has been unemployed the entire time we have been dating and is collecting unemployment; yet has lived with me for the past year and a half and has not given me any money for bills. He is very narcissistic and I’ve gotten to the point where I’ve developed low self-esteem because of it.
On the plus side though he is one of the sweetest, most caring guys I have ever met in my entire life. He lovingly accepts (and says he loves) how eccentric and quirky I am, and we like a lot of the same things. I love laughing with him, talking with him, and just laying around enjoying each others company. I just love seeing his sweet face in the morning and when I get home from work.
I’ve been told by both mine and his friends that I need to do something about his behavior/break up with him and that I am ‘enabling him’. I party a lot (I am in college and 23 years old) but I don’t get drunk and it really bothers me to see him that way. I do not ask him for money for the home bills; I don’t know what man would think its okay to mooch off your girlfriend for years in the first place and I feel bad asking because he is unemployed and always complaining about being broke. Also, (TMI, sorry) we never have sex anymore; partly because he is drunk and partly because I feel like he is judging me all the time on how I look.
I have told him (partly) how I feel, but he is so sensitive if I bring up any of his faults he is quick to point out mine and stomp away. The thought of breaking up with him or hurting him makes my guts feel like they are ripping out. Maybe I am selfish, but I can’t stand the thought of being alone, or him being with another girl. He may be a fool, but he is my fool, y’ know? But I am so unhappy when I’m with him now; I’ve been staying out with my friends till 5am for the past week just to get away from my issues.
Also, I have NO idea how to do this and tell him to move out of my house; I really do not have a mean bone in my body.
I just don’t know what to do, I feel like I’ve created a monster. Please someone… help.
All such great advice, thank you all so much 
Best answer:
Answer by ~Irish♥Chick~
Be stern! Tell him to clean up his act or it’s over. I know you love him, and if he loves you he can sacrifice some of his ‘habbits’. Tell him that you will not pull the weight by yourself.
Good Luck!
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My boyfriend is struggling with drug addiction. What is the best way to help him?
Oct 3rd
Question by visjac: My boyfriend is struggling with drug addiction. What is the best way to help him?
I have been with him for almost 5 years and the last two he has gotten into drugs. He knows he has a problem but really doesn’t want help. He thinks he can beat this on his own. I am pretty deep into our relationship and have made my last stand. Either he gets help or I’m gone. I understand only he can help himself but I’m growing concerned for his safety and the safety of his family. What is the best way to handle the situation?
Best answer:
Answer by jessiecatsopolous
Eventually, he will come to the realization that he has to get help. Maybe if you do leave him, it will push him to do so. But all in all, he has to WANT the help.
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My boyfriend will just not give up drugs and he continuese to lie about it, what do I do?
Sep 4th
Question by Skye: My boyfriend will just not give up drugs and he continuese to lie about it, what do I do?
My boyfriend and I are both drug addicts. I’m in recovery and have been clean for some time. He, on the otherhand, continues to use. Our drug of choice is Heroin. He uses for a few weeks and then gets clean for a week and then uses for a couple of months and gets clean for a while. It’s an endless cycle. He thinks he can just use “once in a while” too! I’m not dumb. I’m an addict too. He finally got a job 2 weeks ago. He SWORE that he wouldn’t get high when got his first paycheck. He even went through a week of being sick for this job and not using. The first Friday he gets paid, he calls and says he is just “hanging out” with his friend (BTW, the friend is a junkie) and swears he isn’t using. Well, today he confessed he got high that Friday which was last week. He gets paid again tomorrow and I’m ready to give him an ultimatum! I know he’s planning on getting high the second he gets paid. What do I do? I don’t want to lose him but I’m going to lose him anyways if he continues to use ’cause he’ll either die of an overdose or end up in jail or prison, right? WHAT SHOULD I TELL HIM? Please don’t just say “dump the loser”. It’s not that easy. We’ve been together 8 years. We don’t live together right now so I can’t moniter his every move. He’s living with his parents and they know about his addiction. His Mom searched his room today while he was at work and found two syringes. He’s pissed and feels like they had not right looking for his room. I think they do. Their granddaughter is one and stays in that house a lot (their daughter’s daughter). What if she found one of those needles? Sometimes I just feel he needs to get arrested to learn his lesson. He’s never been to jail more than a night. Nothing else seems to work. My pleading and crying are in vain. Thank you for reading this and for any advice that may help me. I’m miserable.
Best answer:
Answer by art_cjohnson
confront him then send him to rehab
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What’s the best way to deal with a boyfriend that has had a drug addiction in the past?
Aug 12th
Question by δwєєt.Łiкє.δυĢαЯ: What’s the best way to deal with a boyfriend that has had a drug addiction in the past?
I recently started dating my boyfriend. Well,a month ago.
He’s very nice and I pretty much adore him. The only problem is,I am worried that he will go behind my back and do what he use to do.
Since we got together he vowed to never touch a drug again. While I trust him to a certain extent,I also know that quitting drugs isn’t just that easy to do,and sometimes still wonder.
How is one to deal with this,any advice?
Best answer:
Answer by hateyoumorehaha
What drug was he into? That’s the most critical thing to look at before deciding if he may go back to using them.
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Q&A: I have a tough situation with my boyfriend. I need advice!?
May 21st
Question by BarbieGirl8: I have a tough situation with my boyfriend. I need advice!?
Ok I have a tough situation with my boyfriend and I need serious advice! I have been trying to decide what to do and where to live but my options seem to be between bad and worse…
I have been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half. We are both in our mid twenties and are still working out career options and trying to decide whether or not to go back to school. My boyfriend is a recovering alcoholic and he has been sober since we have been together but he has the disadvantage of being behind in life since he had to deal with all of his drug and alcohol troubles. It is under control so far but now he is dealing with what to do with his life, He didn’t finish college and he is having a hard time finding a decent job.
We have had our ups and downs and recently he asked me to move in with him. I don’t love where I currently live and I thought it might be a good idea but I feel like we might be rushing it. After talking to my BF about the situation, I’m even more stumped as to what to do.
Here are the sequence of events I have to consider:
1. Last year around this time my lease was up and my roommate moved to another state so I had to move. I tried living with my BF for about a month and it didn’t work out. I though it might be becuase he was fresh out of rehab and stressed. I ended up sleeping on the sofa and we fought constantly. So I was forced to move in with a girl I wasn’t so sure about… Now my lease is two months away from ending and I have the option of deciding to stay or move. I feel like he was none too quick to help me in that tough situation last year. He ended up asking me for two months rent and asked me to pay for my own plane ticket when he took me to meet his parents. I felt like he was trying to make money off of me in the end. I also had a dog (a Yorkie) that he couldn’t stand and was super mean to…he ended up “accidently” hurting it and it died from the injury. He felt terrible about it and bought me another puppy which he is great with but I’ll never forget what happened! This has been nearly a year ago.
2. I have asked him what his reasons are for us moving in together. I want to make sure we are doing it for the right reasons. When we first talked about it he told me that if we don’t move in together, we might as well just stop dating becuase he thought moving in was the next step and if I wasn’t ready to do it then I wasn’t ready for anything else. I told him that that was rediculous and that I would like to at least be engaged first. I want to know that there is some kind of committment and my parents also don’t really like the idea of us just moving in together. I sort of feel like you should save the moving in together for when you are closer to getting married. It should be something new and exciting. Later he backed off of the pressure and told me he didn’t care if I moved in or not. That he would stay with me regardless so I thought the pressure was off. He also told me that he was serious about marriage and wanted to save $$ for an amazing ring BUT that he wouldn’t propse until we lived together. He wanted to make sure that we could live together first…I feel like he is running me around in circles.
3. It is getting down to crunch time for me I have to let my rooommate know if I am moving or not. I want to give her at least 6-8 weeks notice. My BF told me that he needed to know my decision by the end of August. I feel really hesitant. He hasn’t been looking for a place to live. He won’t work with me on a place to live and I don’t want to give my roommate notice with out knowing where I am moving to. He also wants to spend more money on a place than I do. He wants to rent a townhome or a house and I told him that I am not going to move in with him just to pay more rent than I am right now. He got really upset with me about changing my mind so many times and I told him that if I’m not ready now maybe we should just date and work on our relationship for the year and think about moving in then. I told him that if he really loves me he should feel the same way in 12 months (a year lease separately).
4. So this weekend we got into a huge fight and he told me he “couldn’t hadle this” and that he was “done”. He does this pretty frequently. He will break up with me and then come right back and try to make up. I feel like I have a high shcool relationship! He has done this so many times that I finally just asked him if he was really serious and he said yes. I asked him if he wanted me totally out of his life and he said yes to that too…but of course less than an hour later he was calling and trying to make up. It was so rediculous. I love him and he isn’t horrilbel all the time (I swear) but it just feels like too much work.
5. He called me and wanted to talk. I come to find that he is trying to decide if he should stay in this city or move back to his hometown and live with his parents so that he can go back to shcool. His hometown is across the countr
I think my question is so long that it cut off a little of my last paragraph. He basically told me that if he stays here that I will have to move in with him or that he won’t be able to afford rent on his own. I told him I just didn’t feel right about moving in after our fight and that I feel used. I told him about craigslist and that he could have other options, etc. He said that he didn’t want to live with strangers. I’m super confused about what to do and I feel like I can’t be rational since I’m in the realtionship.
Best answer:
Answer by Daisyhill
You need OUT of this relationship! You sound like a very bright girl…with a good future ahead of you…but HE sounds like a LOSER! Don’t waste anymore of your life with him…stay where you are and finish it for good…I wasted my 20s with a similar guy and now I am 35 I SO regret it…I am luckily happily married with children now…but if I had stuck with my loser I could have ended up alone. PLEASE don’t waste anymore time.
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Loosing my best friend to her boyfriend?
Apr 13th
Question by Brittanyy: Loosing my best friend to her boyfriend?
Okay so here is the story.
Me and her have been best friends since 5th grade when I moved into the school district were juniors now.
We were together like everyday and had so many inside jokes and everything.
But ever since December she has been dating this kid from another school well actually he is almost 20 and he is in college and NEVER makes time for me anymore,
We were talking on facebook and i was like hey wanna come to my little brothers football game with me Sunday cause I know you have been wanting to see him play, (this was on a friday) Saturday comes around.
Me: Im pumped for tomorrow!
Her: Whats tomorrow?
Me:Aren’t we hanging out tomorrow?
Her: Oh sorry i totally forgot im hanging out with jeff
Wow okay so this wasn’t there first time it happened its happened numerous times.
First of all, her “Prince Charming” is cheating on her with his ex and he is all up on other girls ive even caught him creeping on me a few times.
Second, he was gonna break up with her a few months ago when she wouldn’t have sex with him and so i flipped on him a few times for him disrespecting her and her friends
So yesterday I asked a stupid question then right after i asked it I realized how stupid it was and corrected myself (blonde moment) then and she wasn’t joking either she goes wow you need your IQ checked or something and so me of course i joke around cause that’s just me im a clown i go anyone that’s dating jeff needs thier head checked and that was it, she ignored me and stopped talking to me and everything else. I even laughed about it and said it in a sarcastic funny voice.
But, its okay for her to boyfriend to say she isn’t allowed around me with other guys around cause im a trashy alcoholic slut, So not true, although i do party but im not a trashy slut or an alcoholic.
He also tells her she is not allowed to hang out with me on weekends even if there is no partying and just hanging around.
She flips on me and ignores me for saying some stupid little thing i was joking about but “falls even more in love” with him when he says that crap and tons of other crap about me.
What should I do?
I was depressed a few weeks back from some life struggles and I went to her to talk cause i was on the verge of loosing it and she ignores me. Saying she cant text right now cause she is at work, so i go to where she is working cause my mom asked me to go grab something and she is not there i asked my friend if she was on break she said no, she didn’t work today.
She isn’t a true friend really, i feel like i give so much to everyone and they just keep taking and never give back.
Please help me ive tried to tell her how I feel before actually a few times before and it just doesn’t work.
Im at school right now, and she was in my last class and I was ready to stand up and knock the shit out of her and i cant promise its not gonna happen sometime today.
So someone help quick before I get a 500 dollar fine from the school and a police record.
Thanks so much.
I’d LOVE to see her boyfriend try anything my best guy friend and my dad would fucking kill him
Best answer:
Answer by Halley
Beat her up. She deserves it 100%. You should ditch her, look for a real friend, because someone who actually cares about you wouldn’t do this crap. I’ve stuck around in your type of situation before, and I wound up losing all my friends and being run out of school. Maybe a wake up call is in order.
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