Posts tagged Drugs

by weegeebored

Question by Jordan N: Quitting drugs is hard, I feel like they’ve ruined me so much….?
Ok, this is my old account because I lost my other ones password. I look at my questions from two years ago (when I was 13) and the worst I was doing was drinking a few beers and smoking ciggarettes (bad enough I know), my priorities were buying clothes, college, dating, saving money for a car,,, I’m 15 now, during the year of fourteen thats when it all went bad…
I started smoking pot, on occasion, nbd…. Then I took vicodins and xanax bars sometimes, then I started doing coke at parties, then I started taking shrooms alot, then a few E rolls, then, my downfall OxyContin, started snorting em, got addicted, did heroin a few times, I’ve kicked because I wasn’t a hardcore junkie but I still get cravings every day. I smoke pot so much I don’t even get stoned, I smoke when I get up so I can talk to people, I smoke during the day cause I’m bored and I crave the smoke taste, I smoke a lot at night just to get buzzed enough to sleep, I can’t stop its all around me, even my parents smoke… Only problem is I’m on probation, and get piss tested a lot, and I fail, and I’m probably going to jail tommorow for my fifth failed test. I want my old self back, the Jordan that cared so much about his appearance, that always had at least fifty bucks on him cause he saved his money, the Jordan that didn’t know about things like Arrest Warrants and Probation Officers, about begging to cop Oxys, and so on and so forth, the Jordan that was so proud that he lost 150 lbs that he watched his diet and took pride in himself, now I’m the shell of my old self, I’m pale, I’m broke, I look like crap, I’m gaining weight again because I stopped caring cause I was so f@cked up half the time and just ate what was in front of and now can’t control myself anymore, I just want some damn euphoria of some sort! I want to stop smoking pot, start saving my money, start getting trust back, get off probation, get back on track with school (which I got expelled from for being an a$$ when I was messed up), start looking good, and caring about other things then drugs, getting money for drugs, thinking about drugs, talking about drugs, worrying about failing drug tests, etc etc etc.
I want to be able to live a life where I don’t have to worry about money all the time, don’t look like a soulless fat shell, where every so often I can smoke pot and enjoy it instead of being dependent, I feel so weak, so gross, WHAT DO I DO TO GET THE OLD ME BACK? I never even realized how bad it was until today when I logged on to this old account and realized what my priorities were like two years ago.. I’m in tears, I’ve ruined my life, established a rep as a druggie and lost all my goals, and I even let my greatest pride, that I conquered obesity, fly out the door….
I’m in therapy, doesn’t help, I’m gonna get meds when I go to the shrink, but I doubt they’ll help, they never do…
I have a rap sheet as long as War and Peace now, I feel like my life is ruined…
Thing is, everyone, EVERYONE I know is connected to the drug world, everyone.

My best friend, all my other friends (the clean friends I had years ago were smart got away from me), my parents, everyone in my life…

I need to know how to live not a straightedge life, but a clean life where drugs are not the priority, but school, dating, how I look is, y’know? I’ve lost out on the normal teenage expierience so much, I don’t remember anything about losing my virginity except it was in a car with a person I barely knew, I don’t go to school, I dont date, who wants to date a former junkie and a pothead loser? I wear old clothes with cig burns on them and pants three sizes too tight, not because I’m broke, but because every penny I get goes to drugs, seriously this is lame

Best answer:

Answer by psych0crusher
Well to simply put it, your life IS ruined, but it’s not the end yet. You talk about wanting your old life back. I suggest you throw that idea out the door because you can NEVER revert back to a life in the past.

You’ve experienced addiction and now you have to deal with it. First things first, you need a specific goal, an obtainable goal. For example, “i will not smoke pot untill 9pm tomorrow”.. set some obtainable goals and do things other than smoking pot. make a list of 5 things you will do everyday and make sure you do them. This can be anything from cleaning your room to jogging.

Once you realize you can accomplish these simple goals, u start pushing for harder goals. remember, only set goals you can achieve. Because the moment you feel failure, you will revert back to drugs…

so take it nice and simple in the begining…

g’luck man

Edit:
Dude, you need to stop this shit!! you are feeling sorry for yourself and it wont help you change things in your life. You say everyone you know is connected, then go somewhere else. Start looking for crowds that aren’t connected and seek help. Stop being friends w/ your current friends.

YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS GOING TO TAKE to leave the life you’re living right now. If you really want to change, then ACTUALLY DO something about it.

If you want me to tell you exactly what to do, then here: Go find a Church and attend every Sunday. That’s just for starters… I’m not telling you to become a Christian, but if you go to Church, you’ll start surrounding yourself with people that are NOT connected…

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