Posts tagged quick

Question by beenthereb4: Quick domestic legal help needed, please!? (very detailed, sorry so long!)?
Husband is an alcoholic. He is drunk tonight – like EVERY night. He goes to work and has a very good job, so he isn’t a “deadbeat”. He went back to school (while I worked, but he also got student loans) to get his Master’s Degree. I am currently a stay-at-home with our 2 sons (1 and 1/2 and 3 yr old). A few month’s ago our 3 yr old son stopped wanting daddy to put him to bed (this was a regular routine that daddy put him to bed) and I put our younger son down most times. This was during a 3-month hiatus of my husband’s drinking, NOT when he was drunk! Anyway, somehow, being a mom and always looking out for my son’s I wondered why my son started crying everytime daddy was going to put him to bed. He begged for me. In the back of my mind, I have to admit child abuse entered my mind (sexual). I have brushed it aside, while still paying close attn to any tell-tale signs, but the thought crops up every once in a while. Well, tonight, my son had his jammies on and my husband who had already started drinking was sitting with him on the couch. Husband started working outside the home 3 wks ago (was self-employed), so I assume my son misses his dad. Anyway, my son pulled up his shirt and rubbed his tummy against my husband’s bare chest (husband had his shirt off). My husband looked at me wide-eyed and said, “Where’d he get that from? He’s never done that to ME before!” I said, “NOT from ME!” Then, my husband went on to ask if my son had a MALE teacher teaching his mini soccer camp, which he participated in this week -today was last day. I said, “No, his teacher is female. Why?!” Anyway, I couldn’t help myself after that and said, “The only person I’ve ever seen him do that to is YOU, TONIGHT!” My husband went on to ask my son, pleasantly, where he got that from. My son said from himself. Maybe we are making a MUCH bigger deal out of this than necessary, I HOPE! But after that, I told my husband that I had had doubts about HIM in the past (I realize I should never have brought this up, esp. while my husband had been drinking, but it’s a done deal now.) After that, my husband said he was not going to help put the kids to bed, and like every night, I put them down. When I came back from putting the kids down, my husband said he wanted a divorce and had taken his pillows off the bed down to the couch. I was fine with that. I didn’t want to argue because he was really drunk by that point. I went to bed and was reading when he came up and started getting in our bed. I said, “What are you doing?” At this point, I didn’t want to be around him at all. He told me to turn off the small lamp I had on. I said No, I’m reading. He came over to my side of the bed and looked down at me and said something to the extent of, “One day, I’m going to bury you!” It scared the crap out of me! He told me he had one problem and I had 4??? I told him I had 1 and it was him. He went on about how I am lazy and never do anything and was good for nothing (though I take care of our 2 toddlers EVERY day, mostly 24/7 and keep the house as neat as possible.) I have also had SEVERAL issues with his mom who lives nearby and he and she always side together against me. You can read other posts to see more details. I told him I was no longer married to him and took off my ring. He took off his. I stopped responding to him and TRIED to read while he stared at me. He turned on the tv and left the room. I took the remote and turned off the tv. I tried to hide the remote. He came back in and turned the tv back on. I used the remote and turned it back off. I just wanted him OUT! Well, I couldn’t hold my tongue anymore and I threw his pillows down the stairs and pointed to the door. I told him I would call 911 if he didn’t leave me alone. I was really scared with him being drunk and after that threat! He went outside to smoke a cigarrette and I went down to take his keys and hide them so he couldn’t drive. I saw the opportunity to keep him out of the house and locked the door. He knocked. He called my cell phone to let him back in. I was too scared. I really thought about calling 911 but I didn’t want him to lose his job or anything by getting thrown in jail. I listened through the window to him calling his mom to come get him. He told her he was in a bad situation, that we argued about HER and that he stuck up for her and I was mad so I locked him out! Such a liar! I THINK she came to pick him up. I was “hiding” upstairs. I really think I should get AT LEAST a temporary restraining order on him… Advice please!!! And, yes, I am fully aware about and have attended Alanon. We also went to marriage counseling, which progressed to counseling for him individually because the PHD counselor said he couldn’t help US anymore without HIM getting help first. He went for a few months alone, quitting drinking for 3 months, but now has started back about 2-3 months ago and counselor refuses to see him until he stops drinking for at least 2 wks. This could really be a “hit
(continued) “hit rock bottom” or not… Yes, I love him or I wouldn’t still be in this awful mess. I’m not currently “in love” with him because he constantly puts me down, admittedly never gives me any emotional support, and I have stopped trusting him. He was arrested about 5 yrs ago for a similar threat and domestic violence when he was drunk and at that time was also doing drugs, of course I “felt sorry” for him and ended up dropping the charges. He has been clean of drugs for about 18 months. I had no idea he was a drug user or alcoholic when I first fell in love with him 9 yrs ago! I used to be very naive, evidently! What are my rights? Should I get a temporary restraining order or what? I live in NC.

Best answer:

Answer by ibjuscoolin
do you love him? the answer lies in there.. if you do then you should support him..

if you don’t then get out of the relationship quickly by all means….b/cause hes not gonna stay drunk…

Add your own answer in the comments!