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Is Alcoholism Really a Disease?
Feb 2nd
Question by Mike Fields: Is Alcoholism Really a Disease?
Best as I understand it, the idea that alcoholism is a “disease” comes from the popular 12-Step methods (such as Alcoholics Anonymous) so lauded for their ability to help sufferers of alcoholism. But also, best as I understand it, 12-Step programs are made up. Support groups with no science back them up and have a ridiculously high failure rates.
So you often get (and I believe this was parodied on South Park once) people living their lives with utter reckless abandon, hurting family members left and right, and blaming their behavior on the horrible “disease” of alcoholism that renders them helpless to change. I’ve heard people describe their alcoholism as if it’s something comparable to cancer or MS, something completely beyond their control for which they must always suffer and for which we ought to feel sorry for.
So I’m curious what you all think about it. Is Alcoholism really a disease?
Best answer:
Answer by tomcat72667
yup
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Q&A: Help with this dream…it’s really bothering me.?
Jan 29th
Question by uhhokk: Help with this dream…it’s really bothering me.?
My dream:
I was an active heroin user and I was with my boyfriend who also was. We were in a homeless shelter and guy #1 was picking a fight with us and I stepped up and he was like “you’re nothing but a junkie and I bet you’re proud I’m calling you that.” I left the room we were in for a minute and I came back and guy #2 was there. They had my computer and were watching porn on it together and shut it off when I came in. I ended up leaving again and the same thing happened when I came back again. I stormed out and I was asking if people could give me a ride back to this other city and no one would and someone said it cost 30$ to take the bus and I went to find my money that I stashed earlier and it was gone and I started flipping out and asked who stole my money and about 20 people raised their hands to fuck around with me and I started crying and was like just give me 15$ of it back and I’ll go out and jack the rest, I just don’t have time right now.
background history:
The boyfriend I have in the dream, he was an old boyfriend of mine who died back in March from a drug overdose. I kicked him out when I made the decision that I was going to die if I didn’t get my life together. That was over a year ago..I haven’t gotten high since he left my house. Guy #2 in my dream..he likes me in real life and is always trying to impress me and asked me the other night if I was mad at him because I ignore him kind of and don’t return his calls.
I love how someone else can look at something with a different perspective and see it plain as day but myself looking at it cannot because i’m clouded by emotion.
THANK YOU!!!!!!
Best answer:
Answer by turquoise
wow – how about
1) left over feelings of shame for being a user…
2) Mistrust of men – sneaking degrading images of women.
3) Desire to escape
4) frustration that you cannot get out
5) feeling like people are not helping you right now.
pretty clear to me – whether they are current feelings or left over feelings from the past – that is for you to say…
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Is alcoholism really a disease ?
Jan 17th
Question by : Is alcoholism really a disease ?
Seems a lot like a cop out to me.
A disease you cant control & then in treatment, they want you to admit you are powerless.
It just seems counter intuitive to me.
Ive had my share of incidents but I stopped…on my own…without help and without admitting I was powerless.
I should have stopped sooner but I am still not powerless and I don’t believe its a disease.
Isn’t it possible the traditional treatment is WRONG ?? I mean, its not like they have a good track record.
Best answer:
Answer by Dr.Qutub
There are different schools of thought, best is avoid it.
Give your answer to this question below!
I’m 18 Woman Never had boyfriend, so how do I date this guy I really like?
Dec 18th
Question by PirateGirl: I’m 18 Woman Never had boyfriend, so how do I date this guy I really like?
The guy I really like said I used to be a bastard to girls and now karma is getting me back for it.
He said that 2 years ago, on his online page, I think he’s changed himself though.
He is an alcoholic, and he’s done drugs mainly weed. His ex dumped him & turnt into a lesbian but there still friends. He didn’t have a good childhood, he got bullied about his appearance, his dad would come home stoned and drunk (that’s all I know) and he hates his dad. He gets angry very quick, although it’s not anger its sadness, I can tell by his tone of voice. He gets angry at objects not people as he got angry when he had his PREVIOUS girlfriend he’d leave her and get angry alone so he won’t do it to me, he punches & breaks his stuff not people. He also can joke about sex with me occasionally but he doesn’t like me touching him as he’s very very nervous I think.
He opens the door for me, always helps me even if he himself is busy, he’s concerned if I’m sad. He did and does all this before I told him how I feel. He’s really shy, he finds it hard to look at me in the eyes and when he does I smiled at him and he went bright red like a baboon’s bum. His voice is softer around me, and he puffs his chest out to impress me when I sit next to him. He uncontrollably smiles when I’m around, he is funny, we have same history like same music, etc. He doesn’t care that I have exczma on my face and that I’m chubby, he likes my personality and he was so scared of messing it up with me he’d refrain from saying much as he was so shy, he still is but not as much. I’ve never met anyone so different from most guys.
What do u think & don’t tell me not to date him as I really want to I’d just like some advice please. I’m 18 Hes turning 20 in a few weeks.
Best answer:
Answer by felix
go for it and explore
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Are whirlpool baths really necessary to overcome drug addiction?
Jul 19th
Question by James: Are whirlpool baths really necessary to overcome drug addiction?
I read this question about the activities included in drug treatment programs and the best answer chosen stated that patients are given whirlpool baths during the duration of the program. Are whirlpool baths really necessary? What are they for anyway?
Best answer:
Answer by mishle
no, not at all, what is necessary is self restraint and control.
Give your answer to this question below!
Q&A: I really need advice right now :(?
Jun 8th
Question by HONEY: I really need advice right now 
?
We just broke up after 2.5 yrs a month ago and im a mess.. the begining was very rough, he always thought i was up to something or cheating on him. It took a toll on me. Him being so insecure but i was determined to make it work. I had to get serious and break up with him bc i couldnt take it anymore, we got back together a week later and got thru it!
I just turned 25.. so ive been getting the itch to move foward, i pressured him and STESSEd him out and was MEAN, so mean to him bc he wasnt getting hhis stuff together quick enough for me. I wanted to move in and he wasnt ready and i pressured him sooo much, for a minute there i forgot about the love and broke up with him. When i SHOULD of stood by him, and told him positive things instead of negative things. Hes been thru enough in his life and didnt need me, the one he loves so much, bringing him down.. Ive tried to get him back but he wont. He said he loves me so much but needs to work on himself and be by himself, and find himself and love himself bc for a really long time he hasnt done that. Just 3 months before he got together with me him and his Ex broke up, it was nasty, she cheated on him, and it was a bad break up.
Hes 22
He doesnt have much self worth.
Hes insecure
Not confident.
Grew up with both alcoholic parents
Hes very humble and a great guy.
I need to give him his space and time dont i? Ugh this sucks. Well i just want some advice, and things to do to help him so if we do get back together. I can be everything he needs me to be. I love him soo much
Someone mentioned going to do community service and help people so he can see others with tough lives also, and even tougher.
Also mentioned him playing on a sports team. He does that and absolutely LOVES it. It makes him sooo happy.
I love him to death. Please, need advice.
I shouldnt call him right? I should wait till he calls me? Bc ive been the one calling him trying to work it out but he jus seems like he needs space and time. This sucks!!
Best answer:
Answer by Nikoli Hates You
Give him space. Let him work on himself.
You can’t keep pushing and pulling.
I understand what he’s going through. It’s hard.
I can sympathize with you too.
Just give him space, let him build himself back up.
If you get back together with him try to be more understanding.
Give your answer to this question below!
Hey TEENS, I could really use your help with my teen novel?
Apr 4th
Question by humbug: Hey TEENS, I could really use your help with my teen novel?
Okay, so most of you have heard the plot to my “Cranbert Nelson” novel already. I don’t want to bore you with the whole thing, so basically I’ll give you guys a quick summary. It’s a lot more detailed than this but I need to make this quick.
Cranbert Nelson is a nerdy, fifteen year old freshman in high school. He gets assigned to do a sixth month project with bad-boy Blaze who just got out of Juvi. Both of them have a crush on OCD paranoid, sweet and popular Megan Hershey, who often gets ignored by guys because her best friend Penelope takes up all the attention. Blaze goes to the school mobster, called “The Candy Man” for advice on Megan, who secretly works out of the janitors closet. “The Candy Man” just so happens to be Reese Nelson, Cranbert’s older brother. Reese is always paid in Strawberry Quick (candy meth) and Reese gives Blaze extensive tips *IN ADVANCE* on how to get to Megan, but he only does so because Blaze promised to get the candy meth in no later than three days.
Blaze can’t get the candy meth. Reese also knows that Cranbert likes Megan (being he always speaks of her at home.) So, Reese tells Cranbert that Blaze likes Megan as well, and gives Cranbert tips on how to get Megan. Cranbert confronts Blaze and tells him that if he doesn’t back off Megan, he will do terribly on the Home Economics project which could throw off Blaze’s GPA, which he surprisingly cares about.
Okay, hope that was short and didn’t sound too terrible. Anyway, well I have this character Penelope (her development is below.) And I REALLY want to fit her in the novel because I find her interesting. I want her to move the plot foward, I want something HUGE to happen. (But I’m not sure what.) So that’s where you come in. I won’t use your ideas unless you give me permission, I just need something to spark my creativity. So yeah, how can she fit into the novel and what would she do to move the plot foward? Thanks! 
Penelope Regina Holstein
Penelope is a junior in high school, sixteen years old. She is motivated and has to get perfect grades. She is an overachiever – the student body president, the captain of the debate team and is co-captain of the volleyball team. Penelope does so many activities so she can get her fathers death off her mind. She is extremely stressed out and exhausted all the time. She is fearless, fierce and brave. She is assertive and pushes anyone out of the way to get what she wants. She is very sassy and sarcastic, especially blunt. She isn’t afraid to tell people how she feels about them considering she feels inferior to them all. She is a confident speaker who wins most arguments and she constantly uses people for her own ends. She is able to manipulate people easily because most of them are afraid of her aggressiveness. Her father died when she was thirteen and her mother emotionally abandoned her so she learned to think for herself and be aggressive to not let people walk all over her. No one has moved her to break the habit either. She is very intelligent and sharp. Her mother is an alcoholic and has hopped from boyfriend to boyfriend ever since her fathers’ death. Penelope has a seventeen year old sister named Heather who is a senior and the most popular girl in school. They are often competing for attention of others. She hates procrastinating and is very frank with others. She is very uptight and is on a strict schedule everyday. She has insomnia so she barely gets any sleep. She is best friends with Megan Hershey. She is generous, however and cares deeply for animals. She is very nasty at the beginning of the novel, but at the end she becomes much kinder.
- OCD
Oh and also, which POV should the novel be in? I was thinking I could switch between Cranbert and Blaze? But I really want the sole focus on Cranbert.. although I’m not sure how that would work out with the plot. :/
OH! And what do you think of Penelope Holstein as a character?
Thanks again! And sorry this question was so long.
..Wow, no answers. Fail.
Best answer:
Answer by The fool~! 
I..cant read all of that 
I’m sorry
From what I read of the first paragraph it sounded good
Keep it up!
What do you think? Answer below!
My boyfriend goes from being a totally normal, caring person, to a really mean defensive jerk when he drinks?
Mar 22nd
Question by Lost Girl: My boyfriend goes from being a totally normal, caring person, to a really mean defensive jerk when he drinks?
Ok, so my boyfriend of 4 years (he’s 32) is one of those super nice guys by day, but (sometimes) when he’s had a few drinks…he really gets defensive and mean. It’s gotten worse over the past 1 year or so, or maybe my level of patience has diminished.
For example, we will meet for a dinner somewhere between our houses, and I’m guessing he makes a drink “for the road” before he meets me. This “roadie” will probably consist of 2-3 shots of vodka with some mixer. We’ll have 1 or 2 (usually if I have 1 or 2, he has 3 or 4) drinks at dinner, etc. Then, we’ll talk later in the evening (after we’ve both gone to our homes) and he’s slurring. I’ll ask, “hey, are you ok? How are you slurring? Are you drunk?” Come to find out he’s stopped for a “roadie” beer or 2 on the way home. Mind you, he’s made a whopping 4-5 mile drive home. He gets WAY upset/defensive with me and we usually end up in some sort of arguement over the phone.
This is just one example of the “during the week” issues. The weekends are an entire different story.
My question is…at what point does a person become an “alcoholic?” I know that’s an odd question, but I guess my fear is when do I pull the trigger on this relationship. I don’t do well with quick mood changes, that’s my job (kidding…), and when he drinks super quick like this, he’s really a different person. However, it’s not like he wakes up and drinks, and he doesn’t drink everyday (at least not to my knowledge). So…is he, in fact, an “alcoholic?”
Also, why is the anger honed at me? I’m sure he doesn’t like me nagging him about the drinking, but the guy already has one DWI, and he needs to watch driving around with open containers in the car.
I hate being “mom,” but I also care about what happens to the guy. I knew going in that he had a drinking issue in college and shortly after, but I figured he would outgrow it because most people do when they, I don’t know…have to work and GROW UP???? HELP!
Best answer:
Answer by darling.xx
Weeell. Some people say drinking shows your true colours.
I’d flat-out tell him to stop. I hate jerkish drinkers.
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Really need advice…sorry its a long one!?
Jan 11th
Question by Little Miss Hopeful: Really need advice…sorry its a long one!?
Ok…a quick overview…I am 25 and have been married for 3 years (we have no children,which is probably a good thing at this point) Learned that he has a drinking problem pretty early in our marriage. Over these 3 years, things have gotten increasingly worse with his drinking (side note…he was in the military and had been deployed twice, he has been out since last year). I have dealt with verbal, emotional, and some physical abuse from him over these years. About 2 weeks ago, he was drunk and started throwing things around the house, screaming at me, pushing me, etc. The police were contacted by one of our neighbors and they told me to leave. I ended up coming back about 4 days later, he told me he wanted help, he was sorry, etc. I decided to give him one more shot, and things were going great until today…he was drinking all day and basically started calling me a bitch, slut, etc. and pushed me into wall. I told him to leave ( he was on his way to work anyway) and on his way out he kicked in the door of my car and took off..
Ok, so here’s my dilemma…I do care and love him and I know he needs help (for alcoholism and anger management) should I continue to be by his side (meanwhile, putting up with his drunken rages that are always directed at me) or should I just try and move on with my life and hope that he gets the help he needs without me? I’m so emotionally drained from this relationship…
Thank you in advance (sorry it was so long)
I should add that he insults my family as well as myself…I’ve been called worthless, fat (which I’m not, but I have issues with my body and he knows that), dumb, stupid, pretty much every hurtful thing you can come up with.
I have tried to be the best wife I can, but nothing seems to work, I can never be good enough.
He is aware that he has a problem, but he has told me a million times he wants and needs help and not once has he gone for it, even when I offer to go with him. The only time he went for help is when he had to…he got a DWI and it was to avoid jail time.
Best answer:
Answer by Glenn
call the cops and get them to take him in for drinking and driving. he shouldn’t be on the road after drinking all day.
What do you think? Answer below!
is she really a “best friend”?
Dec 30th
Question by mr: is she really a “best friend”?
I got a call about a month ago from my best friend. She asked for my help moving. I learned that she was being evicted. She and her boyfriend and 3 year old son had no place to go. Her family is either living out of state or didn’t want to help. I offered for them to stay with me. I had separated from my girlfriend because of her battle with alcoholism. She was going to be out of the house for one month.But I told them that they could stay 2 weeks beyond her return home until nov. 1. I moved everything out of my spare and told them that I didn’t care how they keep the room as long as they didn’t leave a mess around the house.My number 1 rule is that all adults work while staying with me. No job no room. Ive help friends out before and had them quit their jobs and end up staying for months with me supporting them. Both she and her boyfriend were known for quiting and not working for long periods of time. I asked that they pay whatever the different would be in my electric and water bill and do pay groceries. she felt that wasn’t fair so offer me 0 per week.
First her boyfriend only works 3-4 days a week and is often home. They had a tv and games set up in their room but he put his ps2 in the living room. I understood that at night when they were putting their son to bed that having a tv on or game playing would keep him up. But this guy was on my couch from the moment she left for work at 8am to 11or 12 at night only moving to use my computer or eat. I had to ask him twice to leave so I could watch a movie with my girlfriend.
Second they would leave all their stuff laying round the apartment especially the kitchen.Coats, clothes,toys,bags,backpacks,books, cds,dvds,containers of half eaten food,a fan would be left on the counter or table. I would clean it up everyday and put their stuff in their bedroom.had put everything from the spare room in my dining room so the kitchen table was the only place to eat unless I went to my bedroom to eat. remember homie is laid across my couch like he’s king of the apartment playing video games because even if he worked he still got home before everyone else to claim “his” couch.
3) After only being here 2 days she got her car impounded. I found out that they havent paid their rent for three months, they havent paid their car payment for four months, the insurance in 6 months and their tags were bad. so I thought I was given them a chance to save up a deposit from a new place not catch up on four months of bills in 6 weeks plus they would have to pay a huge amount of fees to get their car out of impound and tags put it.
Meanwhile my Girlfriend was staying over a lot. So I told her to just move back in. But informed my guest that it didnt mean they have to get out that they still had until Nov.1.
Well one day my gf comes home and goes to take a nap before Im due home. I get home and we eat and decide to go to the movies. She gets to the door and notices that her keys are gone. We do a quick search and dont find them. But I figure they fell behind the dresser. after all the boyfriend was on the couch watching this exchange and didnt say anything so I knew they didnt move them right? Wrong he came in our bedroom while she was sleeping without knocking or saying anything went thru her stuff and tock her keys. she found them the next day after I had search the entire house on the computer chair. He told her that they were there the whole time. funny because when I sat there to look up movie times I didnt feel them up my butt.
I confronted my friend and him about this and the mess left in the kitchen and him always on the couch(at least when me or my gf are home can he not play his games in their room). They got mad that I would dare to bring these things up and told me they would be out by the end of the week(that would make their stay exactly one month what I had told them they had at the beginning of the stay)
She also told everyone I was putting her out. Not to mention that she had quit her job and didnt tell me. I saw online that she has decided not to talk to me and that I was wrong because she wrote a yahoo question about it.
Best answer:
Answer by ashley
sounds like a low life…kick their asses out. thats ridiculous
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