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My boyfriend goes from being a totally normal, caring person, to a really mean defensive jerk when he drinks?
Mar 22nd
Question by Lost Girl: My boyfriend goes from being a totally normal, caring person, to a really mean defensive jerk when he drinks?
Ok, so my boyfriend of 4 years (he’s 32) is one of those super nice guys by day, but (sometimes) when he’s had a few drinks…he really gets defensive and mean. It’s gotten worse over the past 1 year or so, or maybe my level of patience has diminished.
For example, we will meet for a dinner somewhere between our houses, and I’m guessing he makes a drink “for the road” before he meets me. This “roadie” will probably consist of 2-3 shots of vodka with some mixer. We’ll have 1 or 2 (usually if I have 1 or 2, he has 3 or 4) drinks at dinner, etc. Then, we’ll talk later in the evening (after we’ve both gone to our homes) and he’s slurring. I’ll ask, “hey, are you ok? How are you slurring? Are you drunk?” Come to find out he’s stopped for a “roadie” beer or 2 on the way home. Mind you, he’s made a whopping 4-5 mile drive home. He gets WAY upset/defensive with me and we usually end up in some sort of arguement over the phone.
This is just one example of the “during the week” issues. The weekends are an entire different story.
My question is…at what point does a person become an “alcoholic?” I know that’s an odd question, but I guess my fear is when do I pull the trigger on this relationship. I don’t do well with quick mood changes, that’s my job (kidding…), and when he drinks super quick like this, he’s really a different person. However, it’s not like he wakes up and drinks, and he doesn’t drink everyday (at least not to my knowledge). So…is he, in fact, an “alcoholic?”
Also, why is the anger honed at me? I’m sure he doesn’t like me nagging him about the drinking, but the guy already has one DWI, and he needs to watch driving around with open containers in the car.
I hate being “mom,” but I also care about what happens to the guy. I knew going in that he had a drinking issue in college and shortly after, but I figured he would outgrow it because most people do when they, I don’t know…have to work and GROW UP???? HELP!
Best answer:
Answer by darling.xx
Weeell. Some people say drinking shows your true colours.
I’d flat-out tell him to stop. I hate jerkish drinkers.
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
Really need advice…sorry its a long one!?
Jan 11th
Question by Little Miss Hopeful: Really need advice…sorry its a long one!?
Ok…a quick overview…I am 25 and have been married for 3 years (we have no children,which is probably a good thing at this point) Learned that he has a drinking problem pretty early in our marriage. Over these 3 years, things have gotten increasingly worse with his drinking (side note…he was in the military and had been deployed twice, he has been out since last year). I have dealt with verbal, emotional, and some physical abuse from him over these years. About 2 weeks ago, he was drunk and started throwing things around the house, screaming at me, pushing me, etc. The police were contacted by one of our neighbors and they told me to leave. I ended up coming back about 4 days later, he told me he wanted help, he was sorry, etc. I decided to give him one more shot, and things were going great until today…he was drinking all day and basically started calling me a bitch, slut, etc. and pushed me into wall. I told him to leave ( he was on his way to work anyway) and on his way out he kicked in the door of my car and took off..
Ok, so here’s my dilemma…I do care and love him and I know he needs help (for alcoholism and anger management) should I continue to be by his side (meanwhile, putting up with his drunken rages that are always directed at me) or should I just try and move on with my life and hope that he gets the help he needs without me? I’m so emotionally drained from this relationship…
Thank you in advance (sorry it was so long)
I should add that he insults my family as well as myself…I’ve been called worthless, fat (which I’m not, but I have issues with my body and he knows that), dumb, stupid, pretty much every hurtful thing you can come up with.
I have tried to be the best wife I can, but nothing seems to work, I can never be good enough.
He is aware that he has a problem, but he has told me a million times he wants and needs help and not once has he gone for it, even when I offer to go with him. The only time he went for help is when he had to…he got a DWI and it was to avoid jail time.
Best answer:
Answer by Glenn
call the cops and get them to take him in for drinking and driving. he shouldn’t be on the road after drinking all day.
What do you think? Answer below!
is she really a “best friend”?
Dec 30th
Question by mr: is she really a “best friend”?
I got a call about a month ago from my best friend. She asked for my help moving. I learned that she was being evicted. She and her boyfriend and 3 year old son had no place to go. Her family is either living out of state or didn’t want to help. I offered for them to stay with me. I had separated from my girlfriend because of her battle with alcoholism. She was going to be out of the house for one month.But I told them that they could stay 2 weeks beyond her return home until nov. 1. I moved everything out of my spare and told them that I didn’t care how they keep the room as long as they didn’t leave a mess around the house.My number 1 rule is that all adults work while staying with me. No job no room. Ive help friends out before and had them quit their jobs and end up staying for months with me supporting them. Both she and her boyfriend were known for quiting and not working for long periods of time. I asked that they pay whatever the different would be in my electric and water bill and do pay groceries. she felt that wasn’t fair so offer me 0 per week.
First her boyfriend only works 3-4 days a week and is often home. They had a tv and games set up in their room but he put his ps2 in the living room. I understood that at night when they were putting their son to bed that having a tv on or game playing would keep him up. But this guy was on my couch from the moment she left for work at 8am to 11or 12 at night only moving to use my computer or eat. I had to ask him twice to leave so I could watch a movie with my girlfriend.
Second they would leave all their stuff laying round the apartment especially the kitchen.Coats, clothes,toys,bags,backpacks,books, cds,dvds,containers of half eaten food,a fan would be left on the counter or table. I would clean it up everyday and put their stuff in their bedroom.had put everything from the spare room in my dining room so the kitchen table was the only place to eat unless I went to my bedroom to eat. remember homie is laid across my couch like he’s king of the apartment playing video games because even if he worked he still got home before everyone else to claim “his” couch.
3) After only being here 2 days she got her car impounded. I found out that they havent paid their rent for three months, they havent paid their car payment for four months, the insurance in 6 months and their tags were bad. so I thought I was given them a chance to save up a deposit from a new place not catch up on four months of bills in 6 weeks plus they would have to pay a huge amount of fees to get their car out of impound and tags put it.
Meanwhile my Girlfriend was staying over a lot. So I told her to just move back in. But informed my guest that it didnt mean they have to get out that they still had until Nov.1.
Well one day my gf comes home and goes to take a nap before Im due home. I get home and we eat and decide to go to the movies. She gets to the door and notices that her keys are gone. We do a quick search and dont find them. But I figure they fell behind the dresser. after all the boyfriend was on the couch watching this exchange and didnt say anything so I knew they didnt move them right? Wrong he came in our bedroom while she was sleeping without knocking or saying anything went thru her stuff and tock her keys. she found them the next day after I had search the entire house on the computer chair. He told her that they were there the whole time. funny because when I sat there to look up movie times I didnt feel them up my butt.
I confronted my friend and him about this and the mess left in the kitchen and him always on the couch(at least when me or my gf are home can he not play his games in their room). They got mad that I would dare to bring these things up and told me they would be out by the end of the week(that would make their stay exactly one month what I had told them they had at the beginning of the stay)
She also told everyone I was putting her out. Not to mention that she had quit her job and didnt tell me. I saw online that she has decided not to talk to me and that I was wrong because she wrote a yahoo question about it.
Best answer:
Answer by ashley
sounds like a low life…kick their asses out. thats ridiculous
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
Q&A: I really need some help dealing with an alcoholic!?
Dec 1st
Question by Princess: I really need some help dealing with an alcoholic!?
I really need some advice on what to do! This may be kinda long, but Ill try to make it quick.
I live with my boyfriend. Were both 21 years old. His dad split up with his girlfriend of estimated 10 years about 6 months ago. My boyfriend, his older borther (23) and dad were all living with the girlfriend and her sons. My boyfriend moved out and in with me before the split occured. His dad and his brother got an apartment and have been living together since. They are both really bad alchoholics. Especially his dad. His brother, today actually, just graduated from some forn of AA and had been sober for 1 to 2 weeks now. Can any body give us any advice on what we can do for his dad? Their oldest brother is a psychologist and he cant get through to his dad. Everytime someone tries to talk to his dad and be honest with him, he thinks they hate him and arent on his side. He is irrational. His life is going down the drain and hes on the brink of loosing his career. My boyfriend gets calls just about evey night about some argument or fight they just had. His brother often asks to spend the night at our house. Now I love his brother as if he were my own, but our home is rather small and it puts stress on our relationship. My boyfriend is so stressed out. He thinks his dad is going to die soon if he keeps this up. I mean his dad is up at 7 am drunk! Passing out, falling all over the place. Its so bad that at one point he tried to kiss me! You can imagaine how he felt the day after. For all of us this has affected what can we do?!
Best answer:
Answer by Jillian
You should call someone that can help you set up an intervention, like a rehab center, social worker or psychologist that can help him go into rehab. Not only are relationships on the line, but his health and everyone else around him. He needs to understand that people love him and are there for him, and that alcohol is not the answer. He wants to be in a state that is not reality and doesn’t care if he dies. He needs to be in a place where they can structure and control his habits and help him out of this and cope in a healthy way.
Add your own answer in the comments!
Q&A: I really need some help dealing with an alcoholic!?
Nov 20th
Question by Princess: I really need some help dealing with an alcoholic!?
I really need some advice on what to do! This may be kinda long, but Ill try to make it quick.
I live with my boyfriend. Were both 21 years old. His dad split up with his girlfriend of estimated 10 years about 6 months ago. My boyfriend, his older borther (23) and dad were all living with the girlfriend and her sons. My boyfriend moved out and in with me before the split occured. His dad and his brother got an apartment and have been living together since. They are both really bad alchoholics. Especially his dad. His brother, today actually, just graduated from some forn of AA and had been sober for 1 to 2 weeks now. Can any body give us any advice on what we can do for his dad? Their oldest brother is a psychologist and he cant get through to his dad. Everytime someone tries to talk to his dad and be honest with him, he thinks they hate him and arent on his side. He is irrational. His life is going down the drain and hes on the brink of loosing his career. My boyfriend gets calls just about evey night about some argument or fight they just had. His brother often asks to spend the night at our house. Now I love his brother as if he were my own, but our home is rather small and it puts stress on our relationship. My boyfriend is so stressed out. He thinks his dad is going to die soon if he keeps this up. I mean his dad is up at 7 am drunk! Passing out, falling all over the place. Its so bad that at one point he tried to kiss me! You can imagaine how he felt the day after. For all of us this has affected what can we do?!
Best answer:
Answer by Jillian
You should call someone that can help you set up an intervention, like a rehab center, social worker or psychologist that can help him go into rehab. Not only are relationships on the line, but his health and everyone else around him. He needs to understand that people love him and are there for him, and that alcohol is not the answer. He wants to be in a state that is not reality and doesn’t care if he dies. He needs to be in a place where they can structure and control his habits and help him out of this and cope in a healthy way.
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
Q&A: Is a person that has a drug addiction really have a sickness?
Jul 26th
Question by Tiff B.: Is a person that has a drug addiction really have a sickness?
Is a drug addiction a sickness or stupidity? If you were very close to someone that wanted so bad to get off drugs but couldn’t, Will you be wrong and stupid for being there for them regardless?
Best answer:
Answer by Mandy
It’s a sickness and not stupidity. if you were very close to someone with these illness try to help her/him. Who know’s you might save a life.
Give your answer to this question below!
Addiction: Is addiction really a disease? (DVD Trailer)
Jan 16th
Dr. Kevin McCauley asks the question, “Is addiction really a disease?” Dr. McCauley discusses the importance of this question then introduces viewers to the concepts that will be covered in this soon to be released DVD. … addiction alcohol “drugs. alcohol abuse” “drug abuse” “chemical dependency” choice rehab rehabilitation steroids brain utah recovery alcoholism disease “addictive disorders”
Addiction: Is addiction really a disease? (DVD Trailer)
Jan 16th
Dr. Kevin McCauley asks the question, “Is addiction really a disease?” Dr. McCauley discusses the importance of this question then introduces viewers to the concepts that will be covered in this soon to be released DVD. … addiction alcohol “drugs. alcohol abuse” “drug abuse” “chemical dependency” choice rehab rehabilitation steroids brain utah recovery alcoholism disease “addictive disorders”
Proven Get Ex Back System That Really Works – The Magic Of Making Up
Jan 3rd
You have broken up with your ex. Now you need a proven system to get ex back as soon as possible. You have talked to your friends and family to get some advice, but nothing seems to work.
Now you have come to the point where you are desperate and want to know how to get back together with your ex. You even browse online to find some tips and advice; to make it work, but still you are stranded for information.
You come across many websites that will guarantee you results; but not knowing the reputation of these websites, your afraid to take the chance. You need some evidence to prove that these sites are reputable.
These are some of the things that cross our minds when searching for a proven get ex back system that really works. You have not found this article by mistake! You have come to the right place for success.In fact, I will show you a system that will get your ex back with a plan that is ready to put in to action.
The system that I suggest to you is called the magic of making up program. This was carefully put together by a guy ( T-Dub Jackson ) who never has claimed to be a psychiatrist or relationship counselor. He has mastered this information in relationships; and has helped thousands rekindle their lives together, with a “proven get ex back system” that really works well.
What needs to be understood when trying to get back your ex is realizing what caused the breakup from the beginning. This proven system; will help you figure out what went wrong, and provides a step by step solution for winning your ex back. It will bring to your attention tips and other methods to use for your advantage.
Here is what you will get in this “proven get ex back system” called the “Magic Of Making Up” program.
1) You will be sent a general report of “The Magic Of Making Up” e-book!(includes 62 pages alone)
2)You will learn how to apologize in the correct way. This is called the clean slate method.
3)You will be sent also the Mind Magic section which includes (27 pages) this is psychological methods and tricks which is worth the price alone.
Whether or not you get back together with your ex, The “Magic of Making Up” has a oustanding amount of relationship-based information and methods that can help you figure out the opposite sex.
To check out this “proven get your ex back system” you will not have to do a lot of research online, to find that this is the most reputable relationship advice system that you will find anywhere.Customer testimonials suggest that “The Magic of Making Up” really does work and is well worth the money. You will also get access to the email of T-Dubb Jackson himself to ask any questions about any situation that arises in your quest to get your ex back.
Is The Sunset Malibu Rehab Really Successful?
Jan 3rd
Lots of question arises when any close person of yours gets addicted to drug; like how to bring them back to normal life, will it be alright to admit that person in a drug rehab center, which rehab to choose or will that person gain success and get fully back to his normal life? Let’s try to answer some of these questions.
The only way to get a person back to normalcy is proper medical and psychological treatment. Treatment at home may not be successful, as the addicted person should stay in a different surrounding during the treatment process. So, admitting in a drug rehab is the best alternative. You need to gather adequate information before choosing a proper rehab; about the treatment procedures, facilities etc provided by the rehab. Gaining success in such cases is not at all easy. But, if the addict gets admitted in any well known rehab, then success may be not far enough. Talking about well known rehabs, the name of Sunset Malibu rehab center comes first on mind.
If the addict really wants to get back to a normal, healthy life he should get admitted in the Malibu recovery rehab. Sunset Malibu rehab center is considered to be the best rehab in whole United States. The facility that they provide is just incomparable. The treatment programs are also very much effective. The treatment programs are always conducted by world class experienced professionals. The most important process of treatment here is the individualized treatment programs. Personal trainers are appointed to each and every patient admitted here. The medical staffs here in the Malibu Rehab center give their best to cure the person and they are successful almost always.
Along with the treatment programs undertaken; the environment of the sunset Malibu rehab center is perfect for rehabilitation. The scenic beauty of the surrounding is unusual for a drug rehab. Situated just beside the beach, over looking the Pacific Ocean, it can calm down even a wild patient. The living in the Malibu rehab is luxurious like that of any 5 star hotel. Fitness centers, healthy diets are provided, massage and spa services also available. Apart from these facilities, courses on cycling, hiking, and meditation are also tackled.
Since, withdrawal symptoms are too much painful; patients often get wild during the prolonged process of treatment. It is sometimes heard that patients run away from rehabs, but in the Malibu rehab this never happened. The luxurious life provided in the Malibu rehab is just to see that the patients get some comfort during the grueling treatment process. Psychological treatment is one most important step to know the mental condition of the patient. Evaluating his or her mental condition makes it much easier for the doctors to treat the person.
If you are really concerned about any of your close one who is currently on drugs; then it is advised not to waste a single minute. Admit that person in Sunset Malibu. They guarantee the success of rehabilitation and bringing the person back to normalcy.
