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Posts tagged Should
Should I leave my husband?
Feb 5th
Question by : Should I leave my husband?
My husband and I have been together, on and off since I was 13, I am now 24 and we have a 19 month old daughter. My husband has been battling a drug addiction for about 4-5 years now and although he has stopped using heroin, he is now injecting subutex. We have tried everything and spent around 70,000 dollars on rehab and he is still using. I’m not sure I love him anymore and dont want my daughter growing up with a junkie for a father. I dont trust him to babysit her and am finacially dependant on him, which is not going well. I dont know if I should try to separate from him, I feel sorry for him but my mental health is now at risk, any advice?
Best answer:
Answer by Smiles
yeah, get separated. take your kid. go fix this threw the courts. wow. that was too young to marry. I thought you couldnt marry that young. Are you sure your married. anyways, there is help out there. call you local operator for a list of resources.
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Should parents teach responsible drug/alcohol use?
Jan 27th
Question by : Should parents teach responsible drug/alcohol use?
To start off, I know perfectly well that drugs and alcohol have the potential to ruin lives.
But, my question is, shouldn’t parents be teaching their children to responsibly use drugs and alcohol? The whole idea of teaching a child to abstain completely from drugs and drinking for life is just unrealistic. Telling teenagers not to do something just makes them want to do it even more.
Then, in addition to the fun of whatever substance(s) they ingest, they experience the thrill of acting out and doing exactly what their parents told them not to do.
As much as parents would like to think they are in control of their children, they really only have a limited amount. If their child really wants to get drunk or high, there is little their parents can do to prevent it, short of sending the child off to rehab.
So, realizing that parents can only do so much, and that many people will eventually experiment with drugs and alcohol, shouldn’t parents choose to educate their children to use substances responsibly? I mean, as in teaching their children to do everything in moderation. And to use drugs/alcohol to have a good time, not to cover up unpleasant feelings. That is a sure-fire way to get addicted. And just because some people who use drugs get addicted doesn’t mean that everyone will, especially if they have been taught to use drugs responsibly. People die in car crashes all the time, but that doesn’t stop many from driving.
I think that my life is an example of responsible drug use. I am 15 and a sophomore in high school. I’ve done the basics (weed, alcohol, and cigarettes) and even some of the harder stuff like pain meds and heroin (not the kind you inject). But, I’m passing school with a 3.9 GPA, and I’m the best runner of my school’s cross country team. I’m no addict. Both of my parents smoked and drank in high school, and they unrealistically expect me to not do any of that. Lots of my friends parents are OK with their children drinking and/or smoking, and I resent my parents for making me have to sneak around just to have some fun. Most of the people I hang out with have been drunk or high, and they’re not the losers that our government has portrayed in their ridiculous drug “education”. Even the good kids, who have perfect grades and are very involved in school, have a drink every now and then.
So why shouldn’t parents choose to teach their children to be responsible about their drug/alcohol usage? No one wants to be that junkie in the gutter, but that doesn’t mean that one can never do any drugs or alcohol ever.
Everything in moderation.
Best answer:
Answer by Ellen
Really? Because my parents taught me to stay the hell away from drugs and alcohol, and I have, even as an adult. I actually care about my body and my potential to have children and the past of alcoholism I have coming from both sides of the family. It’s not unrealistic, its good parenting.
What do you think? Answer below!
Should I have said I love him?
Dec 31st
Question by Lisa R: Should I have said I love him?
okay, me and my ex boyfriend have a 3 year old together. Anyway we broke up like 7 or 8 months ago and are sharing custody of our daughter.
we broke up for a lot of reasons, 1.) he was always nagging on me to come home earlier and spend more time with him and my kid- but he knew my job was stressful from the start and that I wouldn’t be able to spend my whole day at home. 2.) (I might end up sounding like a jerk for this one but still) his appearance, throughout his other relationships he was always able to keep up his appearance and look nice but he started gaining weight and growing this beard thing on his face. He was also drinking a lot which was part of the weight gain. And well, he was drinking like an alcoholic.
so we split up, he was really upset and I was pretty upset too. But it wasn’t going anywhere and we were fighting all the time. So the other day I found him writing in his “journal’ I started teasing him about it then I tried to take it from him, I didn’t see much but I read that he called me a B-i-t-c-h in it and that he was writing down everything he was eating, all the calories, fat content everything. He has also been working out and losing weight. I felt kind of bad, but I shouldn’t should I? I mean I am just helping him.
Anyway that night when I dropped of our kid. I passed him, and he looked really mad because I read what he wrote. I gave him a quick kiss on the head and said ‘love you.’ then as I was leaving he said “what?” in a confused and surprised voice. I just turned to him and said it again. he was just like “oh…” then he looked down again.
I didn’t know if I should have said that, I mean I do love him- maybe not in a romantic ‘lets get married’ way but he is the father of my child and he is a really good man.
Do you think that’s too weird to tell your ex? I never really thought about it before now, but do other people say it?
Best answer:
Answer by Queen of Beer
I don’t tell my ex’s I love them. Don’t send him mixed messages if you don’t want to get back together with him.
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Should I DATE this ‘bastard’?
Dec 25th
Question by PirateGal: Should I DATE this ‘bastard’?
I used to be a bastard to girls and now karma is getting me back for it.
He said that 2 years ago, what could it mean? I want to date him but I’m a little worried. I think hes changed though.
He opens the door for me, always helps me even if he himself is busy, hes concerned if I’m sad. Doing all that before I told him how I feel. Anyway he’s really shy, he finds it hard to look at me in the eyes and when he does I smiled and he went bright red like a baboon’s bum, so cute. & his voice is softer around me, and he puffs his chest out to impress me when I sit next to him. He uncontrollaby smiles when I’m around, he is funny, we have same history like same music, etc.
He is an alcoholic, and hes done drugs mainly weed. His ex dumped him & turnt into a lesbian.He didn’t have a good childhood, he got bullied about his appearance, his dad would come home stoned and drunk (thats all I know) and he hates his dad. He gets angry very quick, althou it’s not anger its sadness, I can tell by his tone of voice.He gets angry at objects not people as he got angry when he had his PREVIOUS girlfriend he’d leave her and get angry alone so he won’t do it to me, he punches & breaks his stuff not people. and for the record his ex & him are still friends.
He also can joke about sex with me occasionally but he doesn’t like me touching him? Even on accident..he lets other people touch him? =/ He doesn’t care that I have excma on my face and that I’m chubby, he likes my personality and he was so scared of messing it up with me he’d refrain from saying much as he was so shy, he still is but not as much. I’ve never met anyone so different from most guys
What do u think & don’t tell me not to date him as I really want to I’d just like some advice really.
Best answer:
Answer by Ginger
my advice is get to know him better with a clear head.
What do you think? Answer below!
Honestly! What should I do about him?
Dec 4th
Question by Courtney_Hate: Honestly! What should I do about him?
Okay, I’m not a stupid girl but my boyfriend has become a full blown junkie. I love him more than life, People blame me for getting drunk with him at concerts and stuff because they don’t understand what he’s like, They think I’m a bad influence. He is a very talented musician and beautiful guy. I worry most because Heroin is a less popular drug now than 10 years ago so it could be getting mixed with other drugs. I can’t stand him hurting himself but I wont let go of him. What should I do? Any opinions help.
Best answer:
Answer by tyree_dickerson
stop being a dumb bitch and get on your job babes don’t let this dude love for drugs get mixed up with your love for him
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My boyfriends mum is a drug addict/dealer, and is going to jail – should i stay with him?
Dec 1st
Question by LilLoca: My boyfriends mum is a drug addict/dealer, and is going to jail – should i stay with him?
I have known him since May 2004, and we have been together since November 2005 (so quite a while). I have known for a while that his mum had a drug habit. I was told that before i met him she was addicted to heroin, but now she was over the habit and was just a pot smoker. When i was at his house, there were people always there in her room, who he said were people after drugs. Slowly over time he told me that it seemed like she was into speed now (her lesbian lover died 2 years so it’s possible she started back on the speed because of the heartbreak).
A couple days ago she got arrested and now she’s facing a year or more in jail (advice from solicitor), and its turned out she lied to my bf and was arrested before (but let go), and is now addicted on heroin again.
He’s told me so many stories about her – apparently she did heroin when she was pregnant with him (his dad is a “junkie” too, but left before he was born). When he was a kid she would leave him days on end to go “do drugs” – he was around 9 fyi. She also traded in their tv and his games for money to fund her drug habit. When he started working after he finished school she apparently a couple times took his bankcard in the middle of the night and stole up to 600 dollars each time and never returned it. Since i’ve met him, once a week without fail she asks him for money (she doesnt work – is on a disability pension because she’s “sick”). I really dont see any sickness in her, she’s fine and can walk around everything, but im not a doctor so i wont judge her for that. So ok, she doesnt work, gets a pension + rent assitance (which totals to about 550/fortnight maybe more), he pays all the bills, the rent (220/week), the food in the house – yet she STILL asks him for money. I dont even know for what!! She lives in squallor!! Her room is tiny, she only stays in there with her “friends”. All i can think of is she spends it on her drug habit which INFURIATES ME!! She just uses him and because he’s soft he always gives into it everytime – he’ll shout at her, but then eventually gives in and gives her money. This is in the field of 200 a week (he payed her 400 for a mobile phone the other week because she was “broke” and she promised to pay him back – she hasnt).
The reason all this angers me (and i know i guess its not my business), is just the fact that this woman her entire life has amounted to nothing. She brings down her son EVERYTIME. I hate listening to all this from him because everytime i try to tell her off to him he defends her and calls me a bitch. I know she is his mum, but how can he not see what she is! We want to move out, eventually buy a house, marry and have kids. I want to travel, and i know he does as well, but every week when we go out he’s telling me he’s struggling for cash. When i ask him to lend me 20 dollars (im a uni student, so im struggling for cash atm), he tells ME off!! It’s so frustrating, i feel like his dysfunctional relationship with his mum is making him distrust me.
She’s going to jail ffs, and he still thinks she has hope. She came home from the court house today and already there were people at the door waiting for drugs saying “your mum called saying to meet her here”. It’s like hello! She’s not going to change, she’s a lost cause.
Am i right to feel like this? Is it right that im angry at her and even him for putting up with her? Is it my business? And should i even stay with him if he’s going to support her? I can’t support a drug addict/dealer. It’s just too much!
Best answer:
Answer by Olaola
comfort him
its times like these he needs you the most
i didnt read that all..cuz frankly tbh its a bit too much
but i read the title
What do you think? Answer below!
which should i research on alcoholism or air pollution? ?
Nov 24th
Question by wondering: which should i research on alcoholism or air pollution? ?
well, i’m against both alcoholism and air pollution but i’m not sure which one i should research on.
The three main reasons that i found for alcoholism is physical, mental and social effects
For air pollution I only found 2 reasons so can somebody helps me with the last one. (The two reasons are that it effect on our health, and global warming.)
Thank you very much for you help!
Best answer:
Answer by charlie
a third effect of air pollution is on the environment we live in.
Not just global warming but think about the buildings alongside railway tracks in the age of steam – they were black with soot – early air pollution
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Should I breakup with my boyfriend?
Oct 14th
Question by *~ Nicole ~*: Should I breakup with my boyfriend?
I really need some good advice, I feel like I am making myself sick with worry. Prepare for a story:
I am thinking of breaking up with my boyfriend of 2 years. I love him to death, but he has some pretty significant issues that I feel like are slowing eating me alive. First off, he’s a sloppy 28 year old alcoholic. He has been unemployed the entire time we have been dating and is collecting unemployment; yet has lived with me for the past year and a half and has not given me any money for bills. He is very narcissistic and I’ve gotten to the point where I’ve developed low self-esteem because of it.
On the plus side though he is one of the sweetest, most caring guys I have ever met in my entire life. He lovingly accepts (and says he loves) how eccentric and quirky I am, and we like a lot of the same things. I love laughing with him, talking with him, and just laying around enjoying each others company. I just love seeing his sweet face in the morning and when I get home from work.
I’ve been told by both mine and his friends that I need to do something about his behavior/break up with him and that I am ‘enabling him’. I party a lot (I am in college and 23 years old) but I don’t get drunk and it really bothers me to see him that way. I do not ask him for money for the home bills; I don’t know what man would think its okay to mooch off your girlfriend for years in the first place and I feel bad asking because he is unemployed and always complaining about being broke. Also, (TMI, sorry) we never have sex anymore; partly because he is drunk and partly because I feel like he is judging me all the time on how I look.
I have told him (partly) how I feel, but he is so sensitive if I bring up any of his faults he is quick to point out mine and stomp away. The thought of breaking up with him or hurting him makes my guts feel like they are ripping out. Maybe I am selfish, but I can’t stand the thought of being alone, or him being with another girl. He may be a fool, but he is my fool, y’ know? But I am so unhappy when I’m with him now; I’ve been staying out with my friends till 5am for the past week just to get away from my issues.
Also, I have NO idea how to do this and tell him to move out of my house; I really do not have a mean bone in my body.
I just don’t know what to do, I feel like I’ve created a monster. Please someone… help.
All such great advice, thank you all so much 
Best answer:
Answer by ~Irish♥Chick~
Be stern! Tell him to clean up his act or it’s over. I know you love him, and if he loves you he can sacrifice some of his ‘habbits’. Tell him that you will not pull the weight by yourself.
Good Luck!
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Should I date this girl despite the rumors?
Oct 12th
Question by Michael: Should I date this girl despite the rumors?
There is this Girl that I’ve known since Middle school and it wasn’t until recently (3 yrs ago) that we started liking each other. I wanted to ask her out then but she had a boyfriend. Now she is single and she asked me when I was going to ask her out because she noticed I liked her. I did ask her out and we were supposed to go out but she didn’tt call me. She called me later and apologized. She had an family emergency and was really sorry to blow me off. She wants to make it up tp me and go on another date. But now, people who used to be her friends are saying things about her like she’s a junkie, she is doing heroin, she is a lesbian, etc. They also say she is unattractive now ( she has put on a few pounds) These are coming from people who are known for being liars and boy/girl who cries wolf. One of them is her ex from middle school (almost 10 years ago) and a girl who is a known instigator and closeted lesbian. I asked her about the rumors and she said they are not true.
My heart deep down inside tells me that these are lies and I trust her word but these rumors are starting to play with my mind. I find her attractive either way whether she is slim or a little big. And all teh other people tell me she is going through a hard time and she doesn’t deserve these lies.
My question is do you think these rumors sound true and how should I deal with this? Should I still date this girl who I have feelings for?
Best answer:
Answer by dood
Find out for yourself. Maybe if she is going through some tough times – a friend or more could be appreciated. Follow your heart.
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Q&A: What should be done about the flock of junkies that litter our streets?
Oct 4th
Question by Meh: What should be done about the flock of junkies that litter our streets?
What should we do about the individuals that find no comfort in rehab, but continue to roam the streets with needles hanging from their arms?
In Oslo, we have a serious heroin problem, where junkies are lining up around the block hoping to start the methadon-treatment. However, the line is much longer than the social services systems can handle. So what do we do? Too many junkies, not enough nurses.
It should be pointed out that the seriousness of this problem shouldnt be trivialised, as certain areas downtown are litterally clogged up with buyers and sellers of heroin and other assorted treats. There are sections of our main street where you cannot get through without litterally rubbing shoulders with people who openly buy and sell hard drugs. The Police claim they are short on resources, the local authorities are clueless.
What to do?
Best answer:
Answer by Ray G
It is time for the “war on drugs” to become a real war.
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