Posts tagged Than

by judge_mental

Question by Loki: My girlfriend and I talked… After, I feel like I am much older than I actually am. Am I doing things right?
On a previous question, I was inquiring others’ thoughts on jealousy. My girlfriend got a little jealous because I fixed her sister’s tire. She tried to make me jealous, but that attempt ended up backfiring. She ended up embarrassed, and wouldn’t speak to me.

So, when she was laying down in her bed, I casually grab a spot beside her. She rolls over to her side with her back to me. I pay her no attention for a few minutes. After, she kicks my foot. I do the same. She then starts shoving me off the bed with her butt.

I get off the floor and punch her butt. She gets up and we end up wrestling around. Nothing serious, just foolishness. I let her pin me on my back and she tells me to never embarrass her like that again. I told her she deserved it and she puts a pillow on my face. We wrestle a little more until we are just laying there.

We start talking about random things. Eventually, she started talking about our age differences. I am 24 and she is 30. She told me I act much more mature for my age. She asked me why… I didn’t know how to say it without upsetting her.

Truth is, her father recently passed. She has some regrets about it, for she didn’t get to tell him she loved him. My father passed a while ago. He was a drug addict and an alcoholic. I regret it, for I told him he was worthless the last time I had seen him. A week later, he died. I hated myself everyday for that.

He left my mother with a lot of debt and a house that needed fixing up. We all fixed up the house, but the debt remains. My brother and I stay to help her with the bills so she doesn’t get thrown out due to foreclosure. After college, I will be moving out.

I took a gaze at my life before that. I was very immature. Didn’t have a job, cared about only myself, skipped school, was always high on some sort of pills… My neighborhood didn’t help; we live right outside section 8. Racism is definately apparent here. I was one of the only white kids in school.

After my father passed, I don’t know what happened. I grabbed my diploma, got a good job. Stopped drugs, went off to college where I sustain a 3.7 GPA. I make sure the bills are paid and rather cook than get fast food. I work out to keep in shape. Just looking back on it made me realize how quick I matured…

Most of my friends are older than me. I have a FRIEND that is 63 years old. Usually, age difference is a factor to being able to relate to another, but he and I just get along very well. Another friend of mine is 36 and we hang out all the time. I don’t know, but I get along quite well with others much older than myself. I guess it is no surprise as to my girlfriend being 30.

Thing is, she is actually my first girlfriend. I am very confident with my looks and person, but I was very mysogynistic for the longest time. My mother cheated on my father when I was young, and it really messed him up. I didn’t want that for myself, so I pretty much treated all girls like dirt. It isn’t like that now, for my mother and I really talked about it after a huge explosion at the house.

I told her all of this, and I felt kind of odd. Good, but embarrassed. A mixed feeling. My girlfriend started to cry because she started thinking of her father. I told her it was alright, that I was there. She asked me if I truly love her.

Thing is, I told her already that I did. We had a fight before I told her — a big one. We have been together for 4 months, and we have been through A LOT. But, now, I felt like I loved her more than ever. I throw the blanket over us, and tell her that everything outside this blanket doesn’t matter. What is inside is ours, and nobody elses.

We ended up dozing off for a bit. Now, I am thinking that maybe I am much older than I actually am. I don’t even look my age; I look like I am 17 as my girlfriend tells me. I haven’t had sex with her yet. I could, but I am still a virgin. I will admit it with no shame. Not because I couldn’t lose it, but it is of choice.

I really want to make love to her, but kind of unsure. It takes years to construct skyscrapers, but it is all crumbled in an instant. She is gorgeous. Trust me, I am a perv, but not a pig. I have desires — more than most — like any other man. It is just that I am really at a crossroads because I actually care for this woman, and I am finding it hard to believe. What should I do?

Best answer:

Answer by oO
Yea…Nobody’s going to read that.

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